When pushed by deadlines

There is no life without music.

Peedeel's Blog

I’ve never willingly written a word without listening to music of some sort. Right now I’m listening to Debussy’s Sonata for Cello and Piano. When pushed by deadlines I’ve sometimes been obliged to work in silence, on a train or plane or in a cafe. (A Walkman I don’t like, since its penetrating sound, piped directly into the cranial bones, is too aggressive and inescapable: booming aural earmuffs.)

Virgil Thomson, recognized my condition right away. There are two kinds of writers, he said. Those who demand absolute silence and those, like you, who need to hear music, the better to concentrate.

Perhaps he put his finger on the underlying psychological process, but I have never felt I was blocking out music the better to focus my thoughts. Admittedly I sometimes recognize that at a certain moment during the last 10 minutes I must have stopped paying attention to the music…

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(v of swords)

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to write is to practice

Peedeel's Blog

Reading novels seems to me such a normal activity, while writing them is such an odd thing to do. . . . At least so I think until I remind myself how firmly the two are related. (No armoured generalities here. Just a few remarks.)

First, because to write is to practice, with particular intensity and attentiveness, the art of reading. You write in order to read what you’ve written and see if it’s O.K. and, since of course it never is, to rewrite it – once, twice, as many times as it takes to get it to be something you can bear to reread. You are your own first, maybe severest, reader. ”To write is to sit in judgment on oneself,” Ibsen inscribed on the flyleaf of one of his books. Hard to imagine writing without rereading.

But is what you’ve written straight off never all right? Yes, sometimes…

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Dickhead

Where I’m from, we call this dude “Richard Cranium” LOL

Peedeel's Blog

Love is so bitter and cold
And like bread it starts to mould
You think you’re gonna love each other 4-ever
You think of him, never
When you think, he’s never there in the end
So take your heart & start to mend
Now he wants to talk
Tell him he needs to walk
You forgot about him
You already ate enough M&M’s
He’s such a dickhead
Next time you see me I’ll be dead
Just remember this
You won’t get another chance

Kayla

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The spirit world

this makes a lot of sense

Peedeel's Blog

In ancient times the world of spirits was everywhere acknowledged because it was a matter of direct experience and open to all but the most insensitive. The world of spirits was as familiar to primitive man as is the dream world is to modern man. The spirit world became the later “spiritual” world after undue emphasis on mans’ mental development had obliterated the astral world in which he originally had moved with as much ease as in the mundane world.

Kenneth Grant
Nightside of Eden

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(in memory of john, 1948-1993)

via (in memory of john, 1948-1993)

An Incontrovertible Truth

Peedeel's Blog

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(iv of swords)

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(iii of swords)

via (iii of swords)

play this role of being fragile

Lots of loneliness in general. If you don’t want to play the role of being fragile & dependent.

On the plus side, being alone means lots of time to write.

Peedeel's Blog

If you’re a woman, it’s almost impossible to establish a relationship. You’re too much for everybody. It’s too much. The woman always has to play this role of being fragile and dependent. And if you’re not, they are fascinated by you, but only for a little while. And then they want to change you and crush you. And then they leave. So, lots of lonely hotel rooms, my dear.

Marina Abramovic
Interview with Emma Brockes
Guardian newspaper 12th May 2014

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